Back to December
by Tiva Swift
Summary: Tony pays for his mistake


**Extremely OCC. Based on Taylor Swift's song **_**Back to December**_** from her **_**Speak Now**_** album. For Celly.**

"_Tony, time to go home now." Ziva tugged on her lovers sleeve, gesturing towards the door of the club. "No," a drunken Tony slurred."Yes," Ziva said, rolling her eyes and grabbing his arm, pulling him. He shook his head and tugged his arm away. "TIME TO PARTY!" He shouted and several people shouted and whistled in approval. Ziva groaned. The whole time, including Gibbs had all gone out for a We-Just-Caught-A-Fucking-Serial-Killer-Bitches celebration, but the rest of them had all gone home and Tony was wasted. "Tony, please," Ziva begged, "I'll do anything, just come home." She was tired, ice-cold, and the Christmas lights that covered the club was giving her a horrible headache, and she knew if she waited any longer she would be far too sleepy to be able to drive, and then where would they be? _

_Tony waved his hand at her in a shooing motion and half walked, half stumbled across the club. Ziva tried to follow him, but got lost in the tangle of drunken people attempting to dance at 1 in the morning._

_Finally she broke free of the crowed and saw Tony, wrapped up in the arms of a blond, half naked woman with a hideous orange fake tan. Ziva froze in her tracks, emotions of anger and sadness erupted in her head. She turned around and walked as fast as she could, pushing people out of the way as she hurried out the door, tears pouring a mile a minute down her face._

Tony clutched the warm mug of coffee tightly, his heart beating fast. He looked absolutely horrible; his hair was greying in places and was in a long, tangled mess, there were dark circles and bags under his eyes, which had turned grey. He had also become very very thin. Since he had woken up that Christmas morning, almost a month ago, with a massive hangover and lying next to a naked blond stranger with horrible tan lines in a strange bed, he had done very little for his health or appearance. Ziva had quit NCIS and stopped speaking to him. She was only speaking to Abby it seems, and Abby refused to acknowledge him in any way.

After a month, Tony finally had called Ziva enough times for her to agree to meet him in a coffee shop and explain himself in exchange for him leaving her alone. And that was where he was, in that coffee shop, waiting to see his love again.

A little bell dinged as the door opened and in walked Ziva. She hadn't changed at all, still the same dark curls, warm chocolate brown eyes and long eyelashes. She looked at him and walked over, her lips thin and eyes cold. She adjusted the sleeve of the green sweat shirt she was wearing and sat down in the chair opposite him. After a few moments, Tony realized that she wasn't going to speak.

"Thanks for seeing me," he said softly. She remained silent. Tony paused, then said, "Um...How's your father?" He knew she had gone back into Mossad after quitting NCIS. "Fine." "And...Um...how are you?" "Fine." She was guarded, blocking him out, and Tony didn't blame her, not what after he did, so he cut to the chase.

"I'm so sorry, Ziva. I'm so so sorry. I was such a fucking idiot. I miss you, and I love you, and I've loved you since that movie night when we watched _The Black Pirate_, and you were acting all cute and it just made me crazy and I couldn't think straight, you were all that I could think about, and you're still all that I could think about, keeping me up at night thinking about what I did to you, and I remember summer in 2005 when we met and how you were worried about Ari and I was all sad about Kate and then you took her place and we all hated you for a bit but you grew on me and I saw how perfect you are.

Everything about you, your skin your hair your smile your smell your everything...I miss it. You were so damn good to me... Maybe this is wishful, stupid thinking, but...if you loved again..." his voice broke, and she stared at him for a while. After about a minute, Tony continued:

"I'd go back in time and change what I did to you, Zee," he said, forcing back the tears that were forming in his eyes. "But I can't. Please, Ziva, give me another chance. I swear I'll be good to you, I swear it...I love you."

Ziva shook her head, making her curly hair sway. "You're not sorry." She snarled at him, standing up briskly. "It's too late to fix your bullshit, you will never change." Tony felt the pieces of his heart snap, and it was as though his stomach had opened up and his insides were spilling out of the hole. His limbs stopped being able to function, and he just sat there as Ziva walked out of the coffee shop and into the January rain.


End file.
